Corporate America Made Me Do It

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And we always thought asians were so tiny April 9, 2007

Filed under: Boredom,comedy,friends,job,thinking — officegirl10 @ 9:08 pm

ME:

http://today.reuters.co.uk/news/articlenews.aspx?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyid=2007-03-28T082834Z_01_PEK205283_RTRIDST_0_OUKOE-UK-CHINA-TALLEST.XML&src=nl_ukoddlyenough

By the way, who was the father of your tiny dream baby and what happened to it, did it live in perfect harmony??

FRIEND REPLY: 

That’s funny, there’s a 7 foot something Chinese guy that has lived with a family in Summerfield to train for the NBA.  Unfortunately, he’s too sluggish to do that. Aww. BUT he’s going to be in Rush Hour 3 so it can’t be all that bad.

I don’t know who the father of my dream baby was.  Oh and Chris requested to add me on Facebook.  Guess dealing with us Sat. nite didn’t make him hate us.

MY REPLY:

Yeah well we did throw up all over his place……..and that makes us great friends!

FRIEND REPLY:

Oh yes, best friends.

MY REPLY:

So what is a typical day of work like for you?  I want to know what your job is.

FRIEND REPLY:

A typical day…. You want all the details?  It’s not that interesting…

I get in around 8:45ish (if I come in earlier, there’s no one here for me to assist)

I get coffee/ go to bathroom/ maybe get half a bagel on Wednesdays

Talk to all my folks (I’m assisting 3 people) and see what they have that I can do

Check to see if I have any buys (I haven’t yet and probably won’t for a while b/c I got the markets from a girl that left at the end of my first week and she did everything for them before she left).

Uh…

Do stuff, go the the bathroom about 5 million times b/c I drink too much water.

Stuff means faxing, contacting reps for various reasons, watching my supervisors teach me things, working on invoices and other things I guess.

Then lunch – usually Lean Cuisine, but sometimes I eat the catered food (like yesterday it was yummy bbq, corn, etc) or I go to the café downstairs.

More stuff and bathroom breaks

Leave 5:45ish.

Now tell me about YOUR days!

 MY REPLY:

Um okay, well usually I try to wake up around 5:50 and get a work out in (this just started on Monday, so we’ll see how it goes).

Then I get dressed eat cheerios and get to work around the same time as you. 

I sit at my desk, check emails and usually keep a to do list of tasks from the day before so I can look at it and work off it today

I write a lot of proposals and do market research (meaning checking out competition and prospects).

Brent, he’s the boss who helps me out, gives me stuff to do, including writing proposals (of which I have done about 30).  If he meets with a new prospect, we will send them preliminary research and stuff about us to hopefully gain them as a client.

Then I have lunch—I bring my own because it saves money, plus I have been splurging lately on homemade super yummy dinners

I am usually more productive in the morning, so I save all the hard stuff for then

After lunch, I usually do some keyword research or write a blog and do research for it

I also subscribe to as many industry newsletters and publications as I can so I can stay updated on the business so I read them in my down time, or reuters or people or watch movies on you tube( that takes about the last hour of my day.)

Then around 3 or 4 the ladies in the office (there’s 3 of us) go on a dog walk with Jack .

We come in and sit down and after that, I pretty much don’t work until 5:30.

Now here’s the next question.  Are you in a cubicle?  And I think in July I will be leaving here to pursue my own bakery.  I’m recruiting you to help me bake.

FRIEND REPLY:

Hopefully I’ll have my own buys soon so I can work on my own stuff for a change.  I’ll be doing the same stuff, just also for myself.  Luckily we also have those cool breaks occasionally where the boss gives us beer haha.

I AM in a cubicle.  A 3 sided cubicle so it doesn’t seem so bad.  And I can see the tops of my neighbors heads.  I have a picture of Sonny and one of my cats, a Georgia O’Keefe calendar, a flower they gave me when I started (that is dying) and the coolest (and newest thing):  a desk organizer!  Wow I am a dork, but I am super excited about it.

Who’s Jack?

Bakery sounds good, except I can’t really bake.  Hire me at your own risk!

MY REPLY:

You can sift flour. 

Jack is a dog who’s part wolf and part who the hell knows.  He has a red and black coat and is reminiscent of a giant bear.  I’m in a cubicle also, two sides are wood and I face a sterile cement wall because our office is in a loft.  If I were to scoot my chair backwards really fast, in anger, I might go over the railing and fall to my death one floor below.

 FRIEND REPLY:

Ok, I can sift flower.  Can I taste test too?

MY REPLY:

No you did not just spell flour like that…..taste test, absolutely.  Also you can stir—you’re REAL good at that one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As promised

Filed under: Uncategorized — officegirl10 @ 8:58 pm

FRIEND:

I think I’m going to wait to open this until I get home.  Who knows what the folks at work would think if they saw me looking at such….interesting things!  I’m very excited though…I can’t believe your ex-boyfriend wanted you to give him shots in the ass of steroids.  He used to be so skinny….I’m in for a surprise!

MY REPLY:

Oh man, something bad happened to me today.  I was checking my facebook profile and there was a picture of another EX and he looked naked but I couldn’t really tell so I clicked on the picture to see more (I know but I had to see if they really posted a naked picture!!) and when it was blown up, you could see it was indeed a naked pic but you didn’t really see anything except one nut, resting on a dock…..as I looked at it, my boss walked by.

I’m still not sure if he saw it!!!!!

FRIEND REPLY: 

eek!

I just finished eating the best corn on the cob ever.  I’m pretty sure it was soaking in butter for a while… and I ate some bbq that leaves me wanting chocolate now.  Normally I do so good!  I eat LeanCuisine for lunch everyday, but we ran out.  Anyways, yeah, I want some chocolate.  Or ice cream.  Or both.

 

Tiny Baby

Filed under: Uncategorized — officegirl10 @ 8:47 pm

FRIEND:

I had a dream that I had a baby last nite.  I had a tiny, tiny baby.
Then I get to work and there’s lots of baby news and now a woman that is on maternity leave has her baby here.  Yeah… it kinda makes me want to have one now.  Or not.

MY REPLY:

A tiny tiny baby?  Like one that would fit in your palm?  Oooo like tom thumb.  You could make a little matchbox bed!!  I’ll find some clothes for it.  Was it a boy or a girl?

Yeah I totally want a kid too.  I used to think I wouldn’t ever want one but I do now.  I want a boy first, then a girl.  But sometimes we can’t choose.

 

One last thing

Filed under: Uncategorized — officegirl10 @ 8:43 pm

ME:

So I forgot to tell you but this was a very interesting IM I received this morning from none other than LISA, remember, marjorie’s roommate from freshman year??  Random, so I sit at my desk and it says:

Hey it’s lisa.
What r u up to.
Do you have Katie’s phone number?

And that was it.  Its that not the most obnoxiously rude thing you ever heard?  Needless to say I did NOT write her back.  It really pissed me off.  Way to untactfully say I’m using you for katie’s number, especially since I haven’t talked to her in about um….4 YEARS!

FRIEND REPLY:

ssooooo wierd about Lisa – not 2 minutes ago I saw a girl in the office and thought to myself “she looks like Lisa”

So my friend had her baby a month early.  She had a girl and I saw recent pictures of her and she looks horrible.  I know that sounds bad, but oh well.  I’m glad she’s no longer stick thin!!!!

I’m tired.

Oh and check out the e-mail the whole agency just got about a meeting this afternoon:

Why?
Because you’ve been working your butts off and you’ve earned a free beer and some goodies to start the weekend.  Also, I want to make sure that everyone sees Brooke and Thomas in their
cute matching red T-shirts.

John

John Fitzgerald
President
Mullen

MY REPLY:

That email makes no sense.  So brigid plumped up huh?  Oh lord hhahah.  Well now maybe she’ll take better care of herself.

FRIEND REPLY: 

makes no sense?
free beer and goodies for all.
I’m very excited

MY REPLY:

It makes no sense because the president of the company is apparently offering it to ALL of his employees, what is he going to hand everyone one beer and a koozy with Mullen on it?  Also, he’s advertising that he’s encouraging his employees to drink on the job.  I doubt booze is part of the deal.

If it is, find me a job there, quick.  I’ll be moving shortly.

FRIEND REPLY:

It is!  During the summer, it’s beercart/margarita cart Thursday.
And there are happy hours!

MY REPLY:

That’s ridiculous.  Ugh….hate is in the air.

 

Thought you should know

Filed under: Uncategorized — officegirl10 @ 8:28 pm

ME: 

This is VERY interesting

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070322/ap_on_sc/colossal_squid

FRIEND REPLY:

mmm…. now I want calamari
I’m so hungry, I’m getting light headed

 

 

oh my GOD! April 6, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — officegirl10 @ 4:40 pm

ME: 

Okay so I was charged with the task of finding out who the key executives at companies are and some of the sites don’t list them so I figured I’d email the HR department and ask there….harmless, right?

Listen to what this bitch said:

Miss…..,

Remove our “info” email distribution from your list. If you want to know the executives at SPI, that’s easy information to find…just like your company, they are listed on the site. This kind of inquiry is a waste of our company’s time.

First of all, like I know that’s horrible to do.  But then she took it a step further.  She spent all that time telling me what a waste of time I was then SHE goes on our website and finds the email addresses of my 2 bosses and CC’s them.  She fucking CC’d the CEO and the President, luckily she got our Ceo’s email address wrong but I mean hell, is she trying to get me fired for a small mistake?  Sorry, Jesus!

FRIEND REPLY: 

Wow, just wow… I would’ve done the same thing you did.  I sounds like she’s one of those snobby receptionists that thinks she rules the world.  It was more of a waste of time for her do do all the extra typing and e-mailing she did than to just send you the names.  I didn’t realize that would be such an insult.  Has anyone said anything to you about it?  I can’t imagine that it would unless it was some strange, unwritten code that you should never enquire about executives at HR.  Sorry she acted that way to you.  You didn’t deserve it.  Cheer up, she was unreasonable, not you.

MY REPLY:

Well the only reason I even looked at the CC part was because the president hollered up here and said “hey did you send an email to SDI” or whatever it was and I couldn’t remember (because I had sent out numerous).  Then I saw the CC. he just said I can’t do that because they view it like spam and no one likes that but spammers usually 1) don’t write anything either legible or can’t put sentences together 2) I forgot what I was going to write here.  Anyway I got a little slap on the hand but that lady pissed me off more than anything.

Okay so I wanted to send Jennifer this really cool gift….go to http://www.bloomingcookies.com…unfortnately they don’t deliver to po boxes. Also I’m currently thinking of getting us a really awesome cake that we can pig out on from this bakery other bakery….yum yum!

FRIEND REPLY:

I haven’t gotten her a present.  I will, but I’m not sure what it’ll be yet.  I don’t get my first paycheck until the 31st so if she does get something from me this weekend, it won’t be anything too nice.
Cake sounds wonderful.
Also, let’s get wasted.  ok?

MY REPLY:

Oh honey you read my mind.  Totally getting shitfaced!!!

 

Read This

Filed under: Uncategorized — officegirl10 @ 4:32 pm

ME: 

Bored as always…….currently falling asleep and duly noted on the gas-x strips.  I am reluctant to buy anything gas related because 1.  I’m not sure if they work 2. its embarrassing and 3. for some reason I have this sense that they all taste like garlic and it disturbs me.  I’m sure they don’t but the
packaging makes them look like they’re full of garlic and other stinky stuff.

If you are having gas as a result of eating fruit, eat the fruit before the
other stuff, otherwise they sit and rot on top of the other food, giving you
gas.  Green apples always make me shit, immediately as of late.

FRIEND REPLY:

Yesterday I learned that Bradford Pear trees smell like rotten fish.
It was awful.
Anyways, I hope Charles gives you a break.  I just can’t believe he doesn’t like you.  Are you sure you’re not just being paranoid?  I’m trying to think of who that Jenn girl might be, but I didn’t know Travis in high school, so that’s probly why.

I had a strange day at work yesterday.  I’ll have to tell you about it later.  And I’m having a hard time sleeping through the nite.  Probly just nerves.  Yeah, I’m super tired.

MY REPLY: 

Weird day at work,huh?  Well my boss passive-aggressively attacks me in front of people….he did it yesterday.  I was assigned the task of hanging pictures (woohoo) and apparently he’s just now getting upset that I printed them on lightweight paper and the edges ripple in the frame.  He said “well before you start hanging more pictures, you should hang the ones you already did because they suck and you did them on crappy paper.”  Like I really knew that was going to happen and like he’s not been in process of buying heavy duty paper so what am I supposed to do!  UGH!

 

 
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